Cannot believe I’m saying it but Happy New Year yet again my lovelies! As I get older, I’m even more aware of how much time flies when you’re just getting on with everyday life. In all honesty, this year has been a rollercoaster. It hasn’t been the best, but it certainly hasn’t been the worst so for that, I am thankful.
If 2017 was the year of gratitude (mentioned in last year's post), then 2018 was all about epiphanies. Have you got to a
stage in life where the penny drops, and you get a deeper understanding of who
you are? Well… that was me this year. It sounds obvious, but it’s taken me a
while to understand how my mind operates and how I deal with things (e.g.
people, work, environments etc.), especially in difficult situations. This has
made me so much more self-aware. It’s fair to say that even though I am my own
biggest critic, hearing my flaws from anyone else is a hell of a tough pill to
swallow. This is mainly because I’m the typical Virgo which means I am a
perfectionist, super sensitive and obsessively analytical. These traits affect
the way I deal with everyday life but the more self-aware I’ve become, the
better I seem to be at navigating problems away. Self-awareness is really what
ignited the epiphanies for me, as it allowed me to take a step back and
evaluate not only how I react in situations but how people react to me.
It has given me so much insight and a new
perspective on learnings for 2019 which I wanted to share:
1. Breathe
One of the key things I learnt
in 2018 was to breathe. What I mean by this is that when an issue or conflict
arises, I’ve learnt to take a step back, sleep on it, calm down, take a deep
breath or walk away (not to mention write the angry text/email, then delete
before sending). Reacting to your first emotion isn’t always the best idea
while acting in panic mode, often makes the situation worse. Speaking to
someone when you’re angry or upset might allow you to say something you’ll
regret, and never able to take back. Breathing allows you to really collect
your thoughts and process why you’re feeling certain emotions. Sometimes it’s
as simple as you’re just in a bad mood, or the person has hit a nerve
completely unrelated to them. You could be on the defence, attacking or lashing
out before you’re attacked, or it could just be that you haven’t had enough
sleep. Breathing just lets you BE for a moment, giving you time to reflect and
respond with a more balanced mindset.
2. Hard work ALWAYS (eventually) pays off
Many phases in your life will see you put in the
hours, weeks, months, sometimes even years without making progress. It can lead
us to lose faith, give up or switch focus way too early. Yes, there are times
you may need to admit defeat, BUT this has to be when you’ve exhausted ALL your
options. I realised that I may have thrown the towel in too early on a few
projects when I may have been half way up the finishing line. My analytical
side didn’t want to take the risk, the perfectionist in me didn’t want to fail,
and my sensitive self didn’t want to be rejected. My main goals for this year
is to feel the fear and do it anyway, stay positive and be consistent. I
need to stick to any additional projects I take on whether it’s going to the
gym or learning a new language. I am convinced that if I do something for an
entire year, I will succeed at it.
3. What other people think of me is none of my business
Being self-aware has meant that I have had to accept and embrace all parts of me- good, bad and ugly. Though it’s
important to work on my flaws, I’ve also come to realise that I’m NEVER going
to be everyone’s cup of tea. Trying to get validation or acceptance from people who will never like or get you is a losing battle. As long as your tight knit group of family and friends love you for who you are, what other people think of you
should have nothing to do with you. Those who play little or no relevance in
your life should not take up any of your mind.
4. What’s meant for you, won’t go by you
5. Know the difference between Real Life Vs Instagram Life
Instagram seems to get blamed for everything
these days but I’m now realising that it’s because we take it too literally.
All social media in fact. We are all guilty of curating, editing and filtering
versions of our lives that DOES NOT EXIST. So why do we think what other people
are portraying is real? The moment we realise that online profiles are nothing
but an illusion, the happier we’d all be. Actually, the less we care, the
happier we’d be. I would LOVE to detox and give up social media but
unfortunately, it’s a huge part of my job. What I’ve had to work on is
gaining a better perspective on social media vs reality. Isn’t it a little
masochistic for us to scroll down feeds when we know it will only make us feel
worse? It’s also delusional for us to think that the curated life we see is a
person’s reality when we are guilty of doing the same thing. We don’t post
content based on our commute to work, or a first thing in the morning selfie for a reason. We go into post overdrive when we get
ourselves away on a nice holiday or a fun night out to project the highlights,
so guess what?? Everyone else does it too!! It’s time to take a step back from
social media or at least use it sensibly and see it for what it really is.
This is something I haven’t mastered but will be working hard on this
year. I have a lot of friends who aren’t on social media (or barely use it) and
trust me when I say they are a lot happier.
6. Your Authentic Self is branding at its best
There are a lot of cons about getting
older but one of the most amazing things I’ve discovered is that I’m finally
comfortable in my own skin. My journey came full circle when I shaved off my
hair nearly two years ago, and I’ve never looked back. The thing about
projecting a version of yourself that isn’t authentic, is that somewhere down
the line the mask will come off. Of course everyone has different
sides (ie. hanging with my parents vs talking to my boss vs getting drunk with
my friends), but there has to be authenticity at the core. Pretending to be
someone you’re not is putting on an act, and the pressures that come with that
isn’t worth it. Authenticity is your USP. It’s what makes you stand out from
the crowd, so I’m always baffled about why we all work so hard to conform and
blend in. The past year has revealed that the only time you can
evolve and attract positive things is when you embrace your authentic self,
warts and all. Yes, there is a vulnerability with letting people
know the real you but if you don’t, you’re doing nothing but hiding. I always
think that the real version of you will eventually come out, so you might as
well keep it real from the get-go.I feel optimistic about 2019 and hope
you all get everything you wish and work hard for. May this year be the
year of years for us all. Happy New Year xxx
